I will use this post to start sharing my own experience. I received a book from Amazon.com from Joel and Kathy and thought this forum may be another great resource to help me through the difficult time I am going through. Fortunately I do have many good friends, family and spiritual leaders to turn to who have helped me and continue to help me. I am a lifelong Christian with my faith set firmly in Christ - he is my all in all and I know God already has the ultimate victory.
Currently where I stand is that my wife of 8+ years, being together since September 2003, wants an amicable divorce. We have two small children (4 and 7) and I do not want the divorce but this is coming out of two different affairs in the last two years, both of which continued during counseling (one ending in March this year and the other starting in July). I continue to go to counseling myself, reading the scriptures, seeking Godly counsel. She has stopped counseling months ago (while in the second affair) and does not see any hope for the marriage.
My heart has been breaking since I discovered the second affair over 2 months ago which she refuses to give up. It started on Facebook and she has met the other man once, also supposedly a Christian. She and I were drawn together in our pursuit of God and love for family and friends. That desire has pretty much left her and she no longer has any friends, only her mother. I on the other hand being an extrovert and lifelong believer have many who are praying intently for us - that the Lord would restore our marriage and that which blinds my wife (selfishness) be removed and that she have a contrite heart and repent. I forgave her within the first week of the affair - not condoning what she did but calling her back into relationship with Jesus Christ. She has refused and continued to be very private.
I have been very open with all I have talked about seeking earnestly all that I have contributed to the state of our marriage - selfish ambition, pornography, plainly not making my wife the priority she should be in my life for nearly the first 6 1/2 years of our marriage. I have been reading lots of marriage books, listening to podcasts and other resources from the likes of Family Life Today and again seeking out Godly Christians in my life who will speak truth in love.
I hate that I am headed for a divorce, particularly that I was married once before (shortly 2000-2002) and told my wife I was all in. I welcome your input/insights as this appears to be a great forum for that. I will continue to share more, but I wanted to get something out there, particularly as I deal with the details of the divorce. We have not spoken to the children about it yet either so that is weighing heavily on me. Please continue to pray I am vigilant, doing in the best interest of my children, taking care of myself emotionally, mentally and physically so that I can make clear decisions on how best to proceed. God bless you all and thank you for reading today.